I want to share the story of how I became a Christian. It happened in 2003. But I didn't write down my testimony until 2007. That's because I didn't realize what happened to me until four years later. That's right, four years. I was responding to a newpaper article in early 2007. As I wrote, what came out was my testimony, and very little to do with the newspaper article. That is when the weight of all the evidence of the changes in my life over a short four years led me to the conclusion that what I experienced in 2003 was not some personal renewal but the actual work of the Holy Spirit in my conversion. I will always be amazed that it took me four years to realize what had happened. Here is what I wrote:
I am writing in response to a recent editorial entitled the “Bible Wasn’t Meant to Be Interpreted Literally”, by Dr. Holly Wilson. Christians are supposed to interpret the Bible under the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Jesus promised to send the Holy Spirit to guide the lives of Christians. To the rest of the world, the Bible will just be a book of wise sayings and great moral teachings mixed with confusing paradoxes and mysteries. But to a Christian it is God’s message, the inspired word of God. I would like to share how I came to that conclusion through what has happened to me in the last few years.
Now, I have thought myself to be a Christian since I was 14 years old. However, there is very little evidence that I was a Christian until just a few years ago. I lived most of my life according to the standards and culture of the world around me. I read the Bible to confirm what I already believed or to justify what I wanted to do. I found ways to interpret scripture to support my beliefs and desires. For example, I believed that the Apostle Paul was a sexist, and I didn’t agree with some of the things he wrote. I thought abortion was sad and unfortunate, but needed to be legal to protect women. I found ways to justify my own lustful thoughts and desires. I also completely missed what the Bible teaches about marriage. In my ignorance, I failed to be the spiritual leader of my family, ultimately resulting in a divorce.
In the fall of 2003, when I was 44 years old, I had an encounter with God. I had an intense feeling of God reaching out to me that lasted over a month. I had never had an experience like that before. I had a hunger to have a relationship with God that I had never experienced before. I was convicted of my sinful nature. I began to read the Bible and ask God to tell me what it meant, whether I liked it or not. Well, He did, and the results were not all convenient for me. I realized I had been wrong about many things. Many of my beliefs changed in just a few years. Abortion and St. Paul are just a couple. I came to understand God’s plan for marriage and God even blessed me by allowing me to remarry.
I still sin and do things I am ashamed of because I live in this sinful, mortal body. Being a Christian does not take away the desires of this dead sack of flesh I live in. I struggle daily. But anyone who knows me will tell you that I am different person. I have lots of faults as a husband and father, but I know what God expects from me. The evil things I have done break my heart. I grieve over my sin and I am overwhelmed and humbled that Jesus Christ loved me in spite of it. I desire to have fellowship with God. I want to understand God’s plan for me and to be obedient even if it goes against what I want.
Anyone who knows me would also tell you that I am not easily influenced or led by other people. That is why I am convinced that it is the guidance of the Holy Spirit now present in my life that leads me to these interpretations from the Bible:
- God wants a relationship with me.
- God is holy and will not tolerate sin.
- God requires punishment for sin.
- My sinful nature separates me from God.
- Only one sin is enough to separate me from God.
- I deserve death and an eternity in hell.
- Jesus Christ is God.
- He was born of a virgin and grew up a man, yet he was fully God.
- Jesus was able to substitute Himself for me because He lived a sinless life.
- Jesus Christ loved me enough to take my punishment.
- He was willingly crucified and died in horrible suffering.
- He was resurrected from the dead and appeared to many on earth before
ascending to heaven. - God loves us and reaches out to us through the power of the Holy Spirit,
calling on us to believe and repent of our sins. - Now, when God looks at me, he sees the righteousness of Christ rather than my sin.
- Because of God’s grace I can have a relationship with Him.
- He will come again to end the age.
- I will live forever in fellowship with God.
I believe that God provided the Holy Scripture, our Bible and:
- It was written by men under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit.
- The Bible is an inerrant message from God that has been preserved and
arrived in its present form by the action of God. That is, the various church
councils that assembled the present Bible were guided by God. - The Bible should be interpreted in terms of language, culture and history.
- I should study it and ask God to explain it to me.
- The Holy Spirit that lives in every Christian will help me understand the Bible.
- My study of the Bible will require me to change myself and my beliefs to conform to God’s word.
These things are essential to my faith. I am not trying to give you a complete list or make some kind of doctrinal statement. I just want to show you how the Holy Spirit helped me interpret the Bible. Before my encounter with God I could not have assembled this list. I want to be sure you don’t misunderstand me. I am not some kind of religious zealot, fruit, or nutcase. I am a boring, unimaginative, reasonable, logical engineer who had a wonderful thing happen to him. I wasn’t even looking for God. He came after me. If He had not reached out to me, I would still be just as blind.
If you do not believe that Jesus Christ was God, that He died for our sins and came back to life, you are not a Christian. You will not have the Holy Spirit to guide you. Your interpretations about creation, miracles and other mysteries of the Bible will be as poor as mine were. When a Christian asks the Holy Spirit to interpret the Bible and show him the truth, he should not be surprised if the world thinks his conclusions are a little strange. If you feel God reaching out to you through the Holy Spirit, as I did, I hope you will listen to Him.
Hank Bray
1/11/2007
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